In Mid-August of 2015, somewhere around 4:30pm, I was pulled over by the THP due to reports of driving erratically. I complied. Being nervous, unfamiliar with my location and alone, I realized that I was facing ANOTHER DUI! My mind was racing and my fears were taking over! At the very moment I stepped out of my truck, something inside of me changed….I just knew that “this” HAD to be it! I just couldn’t do this anymore. I was introduced to alcohol at the age of 15. It was at my very first job that I met and starting “hanging out” with people much older than me; old enough to drink legally. I remember not liking the taste, but how it made me feel was amazing; like nothing I had ever felt! Even though my first drunk was “over kill,” I threw up, fell down and lost my virginity- I was NOT deterred!
At the age of 16, I got a car! Now I had the freedom as well to carry on with my new pastime. By 18yrs old I was pulled over for speeding. I was speeding to a night club after I had previously been drinking. I was charged with my first DUI. Did this stop my destructive pattern? Absolutely not! By the time I was 22, I had accumulated 3 DUI’s and my license was suspended for 10yrs. My blood alcohol level was as high as a .31 and my fines as high as $5000! Broken relationships, colleges and jobs were all a thing of my past! I was 22 and looked 32! I fell into a deep depression. It wasn’t until that night in August, that I quit drinking. All of these years were lost; just gone, because I NEVER stopped! I continued drinking every day and not looking back. “That night” what really changed in me was that I knew I couldn’t stop alone!
After bailing myself out of jail, I came home to a VERY disgruntled family. I made a few calls and told them I would be back in 6 weeks, I was going to get the help I needed at White Sands Treatment. I needed to fix ME in order to fix us! I am the core in my family and was about to destroy us all! Upon my return, I appeared before the judge once again. He must have been able to see that the pain had been lifted and my anger was gone, because his demeanor with me was completely different. He asked questions about my experience in treatment and what I had learned. He was willing to help me too, I couldn’t believe it!!
On this day, I am 60 days sober! I am court ordered to speak at 9 different juvenile facilities about my experience in hopes that my tragedies might help them. I am active in NA and AA and have gained my families trust and respect again. I am gainfully employed and as happy and proud of myself- well more than I ever thought possible. After 3 months, my DUI that’s pending, will be dropped and I will have a driver’s license once again. I plan to continue repaying my “debt” to myself by sharing my story and working with others that suffer like I did!!
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